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When is a Women Ready for Sex?

A reader recently wrote to me with a question:

Thanks for your content man. I have been following your blog for a while and find it extremely helpful. You said you tended to have sex with girls on second dates. Yet there are a few cases you had sex with girls on first dates also. I’m wondering if you can tell me about what signs should I look for in a girl to know that she’s ready to be pulled on the first date? Or writing a blog post on this topic for other readers will be even better. Thanks a lot man. I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Here’s what I replied.

Thanks for the question!

I guess the first thing to say is I don’t go on a first date expecting sex. I prefer to get into casual dating where I see the girl once a week or so and have sex, rather than a one night stand.

But, if I feel I have a connection with her on the first date, I’m fine with having sex.

As for signs to look for, it is a mixture of reading her body language, what the conversation is like, and how you framed your online messaging conversations with her before you meet.

Prior to meeting I am typically flirty over chat, and use innuendo. This helps me gauge how into me she is, how open she is to fast sex, and indicates to her I’m more on the lover than provider/boyfriend material side of the scale.

Once on the date I look for a few things. These are NOT sure fire ways to know if she wants sex, but if she is doing many of them then she might be:

  1. It’s a Friday or Saturday night. She is less likely to sleep with you if she needs to be in work the next morning.

  2. She asks if you live alone. She doesn’t want anyone else knowing she slept with you.

  3. She touches you a lot, particularly if it is in sensitive areas such as your chest, thighs.

  4. She gives you the fuck me eyes. She just stares straight at you wide eyed with those puppy dog eyes.

  5. She reacts well when you talk about sex and is interested in what you say about it.

  6. She’s drinking a lot. More alcohol means less inhibitions and plausible deniability for her the next day. (As Sasha pointed out in the comments, this also means as a man you must be careful. A drunk person is not able to give consent. So although she may want to go home with you, we extremely wary. I’m not going to say don’t, because so many people get drunk at a club and gone home with someone. And obviously, if she’s too drunk to speak, walk, etc. then take her number, make sure she gets home, and ask her on a date another time).

  7. She mentions how late it is and how the trains will stop running and she should go, but stays exactly where she is.

  8. She asks if you want another drink. This means she likes your company, wants to spend more time with you, and might be trying to get you drunk.

  9. She’s under 30. It is my experience younger women tend to me more up for experimenting with their sexuality. Older women are looking for a boyfriend.

  10. The kind of app you met on / how you met. If you met through friends then she probably won’t sleep with you because she doesn’t want it getting back to them. If you are on a website like match.com which is more for serious relationships then this too lowers the chances. If she is on tinder and you have no mutual friends and she can be anonymous, then chances are higher. And if you met on a sex app like Feeld then it’s even more likely sex will happen.

  11. She asks what you’ve got on the next morning. She may be checking to see if you have to get up early and therefore can’t go home with her.

That’s all I can think of for now. As mentioned, I only invite her home on the first date if I’m very sure sex will happen. Otherwise you’ll blow your chances of getting a second date.

Hope that helps.

2 thoughts on “When is a Women Ready for Sex?

  1. You have great insight on dating nuances. I suggest caution and discernment with number 6. Excessive drinking impairs consent and may have legal rammifications especially if shes likely to have plausible deniability. If you want to know if a woman wants to have sex – suggest it by asking. (Before she is too drunk to respond unless Brock Turner is your idol.) Its honest its bold and its attractive.

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