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reframe for success

How to Reframe for Success at Social Events

I got home from the gym today and stepped into the shower and realised my boiler had broken and the water was absolutely freezing. At that point I had two choices.

I could either take that as a negative experience and let that experience ruin my whole day or I could say to myself, “You know what? This is a challenge. I’m going to get into this water no matter how cold it is and see if I can have a shower in the cold.”

What does this have to do with becoming the most interesting person in the room or the most memorable person in the room?

Kind of everything.

Imagine you’re a photographer on a studio shoot and you’ve got a model in front of you and you’ve been hired to present that model in the best light. You can choose whether you want to position the camera right in front of them, to the side of them, to the back of them. You can change the lighting. There are so many things about that situation that you can alter.

How you frame any situation to yourself is critical.

Let’s say you walk into a networking event and you go up to someone and for some reason you just get really bad body language vibes from them. You’re telling them a story perhaps or you’re listening to them and they’re very closed off. They’re not really listening. They’re looking away and they’re not interested, and that person then leaves.

You could say to yourself, “There’s something wrong with me. I’m boring,” and let that affect the rest of your night. That’s one way of framing that situation.

Or you could say to yourself, “You know what? I think I’m all right. I think maybe that guy had had a bad day. He had a bad day, and no matter if someone had told him the best story in the world, he wasn’t going to listen.”

Which one of those do you think is going to make your night more positive as you go around?

One is going to send you in a downward spiral and one is going to elevate you.

Whenever something bad happens to you, yes, that thing has happened; undeniably that is a fact, something has happened, but you don’t have to interpret it as bad. You can reframe the situation to your advantage. There is always a way of looking at it in a positive light.

I’m glad that that shower was cold because do you know what? It made me have a quicker shower, which meant I got more work done, and it made me more resilient. I know it’s an uncomfortable feeling, but being able to go through that has made me a stronger person.

Whenever you come across something that isn’t going your way reframe it and I promise you you’ll become a more enlightened and happier person and success will come to you more easily.

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