Many women I speak to have horror stories of guys they lost interest in, but who just kept trying to win them back. Several of these girls have had to change their phone numbers because the guy would constantly text and call them.
Acting needy and chasing her in this way is beta.
It tells her:
- You don’t have other options
- You’re desperate
- You have potential to become a stalker
- You’re creepy
- You would act possessive in a relationship
Do you think any of these are attractive qualities in a man?
Acting like this is the fastest way to get her labelling you as a creepy loser who she has zero attraction for. It will NEVER get you the girl.
Lock that into your head. Because one day, a woman you really like will lose interest in you, and you’ll be tempted to jump aboard the crazy train and do something stupid. Before you do, remember this article.
What are the signs she isn’t interested?
There’s a fine line between her being busy, and her giving you the run around. It isn’t always possible to tell she’s losing interest, but there are some warning signs.
- She doesn’t respond to your texts
- Her replies are much shorter than yours or single words
- She never picks up when you call her
- She’s always busy when you try and arrange a date
- She doesn’t answer the questions you’ve asked
- You are always the one initiating chats
- You are always the one trying to get her to go out with you
- She doesn’t ask you anything about your life or what you are up to
- She looks bored when she is with you
- She constantly cancels dates and re-arranges
- You’ve been on multiple dates with her but not slept with her
- You are the one always paying her way at restaurants
These things do happen on occasion, even when the woman is still attracted to you. But if they are happening on a regular basis then take it as a sign her interest is waning and move on.
Why does she lose interest?
She may have lost attraction for a whole host of reasons.
- She found someone else
- You didn’t move quickly enough from online dating to a first date
- You didn’t create a spark
- You suck at building rapport
- You didn’t handle your jealously when she mentioned another guy
- You came across as creepy
- You didn’t look like your online profile photos
- You weren’t good enough at sex. Read how to dominate in the bedroom (NSFW)
- You weren’t hairy enough for her
- She had a family emergency that changed her outlook on life
- Her dog died
- She’s too busy to date right now
And many more.
Don’t take the lack of interest personally. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you.
Mentally review how you acted around her. Are there any areas where you need to fine tune your skills? Did you ever act beta? If you notice some things, make a note to improve them for the next girl (Hint: There’s always something you can improve upon).
If you still can’t figure out why it isn’t working between the two of you, STOP.
Don’t try and dissect it any further. You’ll make yourself crazy. Even if you did everything right, sometimes the chemistry just doesn’t work.
Deal with it.
How to deal with a loss of interest
A key part of dealing with the situation is accepting it, and moving on. Realise that virtually nothing you can do will make her interested in you again, and you are much better off looking for other women to date.
- Accept it and let her go. Don’t act like a beta and beg her to come back. There are thousands of women out there who would love to meet you. Don’t expend your energy on someone who won’t give you anything back in return.
- Understand your mind is playing tricks. Men can get infatuated with a woman they have only been on a couple of dates with. I believe this is driven out of fear of losing her, and that they won’t find anyone else. You must learn to control these emotions. Understand you WILL find someone else. Someone even better.
- Don’t be abusive. No matter how much your brain is telling you to lash out and call her bad names, don’t. You only want to make yourself feel better, and it probably won’t. She doesn’t deserve your anger. How would you feel if a girl that you were never attracted to starting calling you horrible names just because you didn’t want to go out with her? At best amused, at worst like a terrible human being. Learn to meditate or read The Power of Now (see the recommended reading page).
- Date multiple women. I recommend dating multiple women for several months before you become exclusive with a girl (if you become exclusive at all). It means you won’t ever be left in a situation where you have no-one to go on a date with, and helps prevent you obsessing over one girl.
- Divert your energies. If you haven’t yet started dating multiple women, then pour your energies into finding someone new, or into making your life better. Do you have your current life mission written down? If not, do that. Do you have your finances in order, or a plan to do so? No? Focus on that. Put on a few pounds? Hit the gym. Doing this stuff not only takes your mind off the woman, but builds you a better future, and makes you more attractive to future women.
So there it is. What to do and what not to do when a woman stops being interested in you. If you still experience strong negative feelings (beyond, ‘That kinda sucks’) when a woman loses interest in you, then spend time developing your mental fortitude. Work on your non-neediness, outcome independence and abundance mindsets.