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Flirty Conversation Series: The Secret Love

Flirty Conversation Series

This article is part of the Flirty Conversation Series, designed to teach you techniques for flirting successfully with anyone you talk to. This series is written to help men and women. He/She pronouns are interchangeable, and often one is chosen purely for simplicity of writing.

What is The Secret Love?

The Secret Love is a flirting technique where you exaggerating a mundane activity someone had to do and pretend they are obsessed by it and love doing it.

Your flirtee mentions he or she had to complete a mundane task recent, and describes it to you. You seize the opportunity to rib them a little, and try and get them to admit that it is actually there favourite hobby, and they actually obsessed.

Why does it work?

Most of us have to do boring, menial tasks we hate doing. And sometimes we tell other people about them, which makes for very dull conversation. By making out someone is secretly obsessed with the activity you are firstly making the conversation more fun and secondly teasing them in a fun way for talking about something so boring.

How to use The Secret Love

Your conversation partner (person you are attempting to flirt with) mentions having had to do something really boring recently, such as the ironing.

Most of the time, you can either pretend they love the activity so much they do it all the time, or that they are secretly really OCD about it and have to do it perfectly. Or a third option is to pretend they completely messed it up.

Tease them using lines such as:

  • I bet you loved doing that didn’t you. I reckon you’re one of those people makes that kind of thing into a hobby.
  • I’m imagining you doing it really slowly, making sure everything is perfect. I knew you were the OCD type.
  • That’s probably your idea of a wild Friday night isn’t it.


Here’s a couple of examples showing The Mundane Hobby in action.

In the first example, a woman is flirting with a man.

  • Man: “I did some spring cleaning today. Emptied my wardrobe of old clothes.”
  • Woman: “I bet your bedroom was completely covered in clothes by the end of it. You secretly loved it though didn’t you. I bet you’re a neat freak. You probably do a clear out once a week. It’s your Friday night fun isn’t it!”
  • Man: (laughs) “Haha no! I hated it!!”

In the second example, a woman is flirting with a man.

  • Man: “My boss made me go out and get coffee for him today.”
  • Woman: “You secretly loved that didn’t you. I bet you eagerly wait outside his office every morning hoping he’ll ask you just to suck up to him”
  • Man: (laughs) “Haha whatever!”

In the third example, a man is flirting with a woman.

  • Woman: “I generally walk to work in my trainers then change into heels.”
  • Man: “I can imagine you strutting down the street in your shiny sneakers. I reckon you secretly polish them everyday so they are brilliant white, just so everyone stares at you as you stroll.”
  • Woman: (laughs) “Haha I so do!”

Where people go wrong

Don’t use this technique whenever she mentions doing any activity. Only use it once in a conversation because it gets tiring quickly.

Next steps

The art of teasing is a subtle one. Like all the other techniques, body language is critical. Practise holding strong eye contact and a sly smile when you use this flirting technique.

Flirty Conversation Series

Take me back to the Flirty Conversation Series page so I can learn more fantastic flirting techniques to use in every day conversation.

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