The Perv Callout is a flirting technique where you call someone out for doing something that may be considered a little inappropriate.
What is the Perv Callout?
Perv, of course, stands for pervert. With this technique you are highlighting someone’s enjoyment of the opposite sex and teasing them for it. The idea is to get them to playfully agree they are a bit of a perv or try and convince you otherwise. Either way it makes the conversation fun.
Why does it work?
It works because you both know neither of you are really a pervert. You are both playing around. You are attributing an exaggerated negative trait to your flirting partner and acting disgusted by them.
You are playfully rejecting them, and making them have to do some work to win back your trust.
It also introduces a sexual element into the conversation. You are both acknowledging you think about sex and are attracted to the opposite sex.
How to use the Perv Callout
Use the Perv Callout when your flirty conversation partner says something that is either blatantly an attempt to perv at the opposite sex, or could be misconstrued as being so.
- Wait for them to say something pervy.
- Jump in with a “Oh my God, you’re such a perv!”.
- Assess their reaction and either return to previous conversation or amp up the pressure with more teasing.
In step two, you don’t have to use the word perv. I like it because it has seedy, negative connotations, and provokes a strong reaction because they know you don’t really think they are a pervert.
But you can use many other words and phrases to convey the same message.
- “You’re such a sleeze!”
- “I knew you were a player!”
- “Get your mind out of the gutter, young lady”
- “You’ve got a filthy mind”
- “If I’d known you had such a dirty mind I would never have agree to come on this date”
Pick a phrase that feel rights for you, and for the situation you are in.
Now you know what to say, when do you say it? What constitutes a ‘perverted’ enough remark?
There are two times to deploy the technique: The Real Perv, and the Imagined Perv.
1. The Real Perv
Your flirtee says or does something that is genuinely a bit pervy. Examples include:
- A man staring at a woman in a tight dress as she walks buy
- A woman telling you she likes the cleavage of another woman
- A woman seductively sucking on a drinking straw
- A man mentioning a cute girl he’s noticed at work
These are all fairly sexual, and the obvious situation to use the Perv Callout technique.
2. The Imagined Perv
Your flirtee says something that isn’t overly sexual, but could be mis-interpreted as sexual for comic effect.
- A woman telling you she likes the dress another woman is wearing
- A man saying he goes to yoga class
- A man saying he enjoys watching beach volleyball
- A woman mentioning the barman has a nice shirt
Any of these can be re-framed as your flirtee perving. I believe the imagined perv is stronger and funnier than the real perv.
Let’s put this all together in a few concrete examples.
In the first example, a woman is using the Imagined Perv Callout technique to flirt with a man (the flirtee).
- Flirtee: “I went to a swing dance class for the first time the other night. It was incredible!”
- You: “I bet you loved getting up close and personal with all those women didn’t you. You’re such a perv!”
- Flirtee: (laughs) “I kinda did”
Here’s an example of the Imagined Perv Callout technique used by a man flirting with a woman.
- Flirtee: “Last summer I went to a house party and the music was incredible. The guy controlling the music was so talented.”
- You: “Talented, huh? I bet you were trying to chat him up all night, weren’t you. Such a player!”
- Flirtee: (laughs) “No no no! It was the MUSIC I swear!”
A third example, in which a man flirting with a woman uses the Real Perv Callout.
- Flirtee: “We hired a Butler in the Buff at my friend’s hen do”
- You: (Shake head)
- Flirtee: “What!?”
- You: “You’re such a little perv! I imagine you were ogling his firm ass cheeks all night weren’t you.”
- Flirtee: (laughs) “Maybe…”
- You: “I won’t leave just yet. I’m sure you must have SOME redeeming qualities.”
One final example of the Real Perv Callout technique used by a woman flirting with a man.
- Flirtee: (stares at attractive woman as she passes)
- You: “I see what you’re doing. You’re such a flirt!”
- Flirtee: (laughs) “What!? I was just looking around for my friend”
- You: “Yeah right. Tell it to the jury. I know what you’re like.”
Notice how you can keep the joke running should you wish, and you are causing a positive reaction in the person you are flirting with.
Where people go wrong
Remember, you do not think the person you are calling out is some sort of weird pervert. You are calling them out for comic effect and to tease them.
If you genuinely dislike what they have said, and want to chastise them for it then 1) you need to lighten up, 2) don’t use this technique.
As with all the techniques in the Flirty Conversation Series, much of the message is communicated non-verbally. Your body language, facial expressions and delivery of the line will completely change how it is perceived by your flirtee.
Pick a phrase or topic that comes up often in conversations and you know would be ripe to use the Perv Callout technique on (for example travel, eating at restaurants, or going out drinking). Then if the topic comes up in conversation, be prepared to jump on it.
For example, if you ask about travel, they might mention which airline they flew with. Whatever they say, you say “I knew you’d pick [insert airline]. Apparently they have the hottest flight attendants. That’s why you picked them wasn’t it! Such a perv.”
Practise this flirty technique and soon you’ll be doing it with no effort at all.