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flirty conversation series

Flirty Conversation Series: The Sexy Thought Bubble

Flirty Conversation Series

This article is part of the Flirty Conversation Series, designed to teach you techniques for flirting successfully with anyone you talk to. This series is written to help men and women. He/She pronouns are interchangeable, and often one is chosen purely for simplicity of writing.

The Sexy Thought Bubble is a way of introducing a sexual element into any conversation.

What is the Sexy Thought Bubble?

The technique is pretending you have become distracted from the conversation by a sexy mental image involving them that has spontaneously popped into your head, caused by something they said.

This is not the same as innuendo. Innuendo is when someone says something that hints at sex. Here, the person is making a perfectly, non-sexual statement, but you are turning it sexual.

How to use the Sexy Thought Bubble

Take the following activities:

  • Swimming
  • Surfing
  • Watersports of any kind
  • Being a life guard

What do all of these things have in common? Typically they involve water, hot weather, and men and women being half NAKED.

If the person you are flirting with is talking about any of these areas, you can naturally imagine them in the scenario wearing tiny swimming trunks (if you’re talking to a man) or a bikini (if you’re talking to a women).

The Sex Though Bubble technique is simply pretending to thinking about them in this sexy way and naming it (in a way they know you are being playful and not serious).

Many topics come up in conversation can be turned sexual. Even seemingly innocuous topics have a tenuous link IF you put your imagination to work:

  • Running (short shorts)
  • Yoga (downward dog, yoga pants)
  • Working out at gym
  • Pretty much any form of exercise (same as above)
  • Cooking (her/him in an apron wearing nothing else)
  • Working from home (them working in their underwear)
  • Reading (them wearing sexy secretary glasses and putting on their intelligent face)

Doing it right

Throw the Sexy Thought Bubble into your conversation using these steps.

  1. Sexy link. Wait until your flirtee mentions an activity where there is a sexy link.
  2. Act distracted. Do it in a playful manner (see article photo above for example). How obvious you make your reaction is down to the person you are with, but you know you’ve done it right when they stop talking, look at you, and ask ‘What?’ with a smile on their face. Looking away and slightly up with a smile and quizzical look is one way. Putting a thoughtful finger to your lips or cheek also works. She must see that you are feigning distraction, not actually distracted. If she doesn’t catch on, touch her arm and say “I’m sorry but I got distracted by something”.
  3. Wait for her to notice. She pauses and asks you what’s going on.
  4. Name the thought. You guiltily tell her the scenario you were imagining in your head with a cheeky grin. Keep it short. One sentence max.
  5. Allow reaction. Allow a brief period pause for her to reaction. She may be embarrassed and keep quiet and just smile, or laugh out loud.
  6. Redirect. Regardless of her reaction, after the pause, immediately redirect the conversation back to her, allowing her to continue the thread.

Why does it work?

We all are imagine people we fancy in various states of undress, how they look naked, how good they are in bed, how they kiss, etc.

But how many of us bring those thoughts up in conversation?


Because if you did you would be thought as weird, creepy and terrible uncouth.

The Sexy Thought Bubble technique allows you to bring up these thoughts in a way that:

  • the person you are talking to knows you are joking. You weren’t really so distracted by the mental image of them that your brain shut down.
  • they are thinking sexy thoughts too, but are too scared to name them aloud. By you naming them in a playful way, you are demonstrating social intelligence. You are acknowledging the secret we all have these thoughts but it is a social faux-pas to express them.
  • even though they know you are pretending to be distracted by the thought, they still know you had to imagine the scenario in your head and therefore ARE really thinking about it, and that you like what you see. You are giving them a compliment WITHOUT having to say ‘I like to see you in your bikini’, which would creep anyone out. You are telling them you like them in a subtle way.
  • keeps the conversation interesting and fun.


Let’s put this all into a made up example to give it some context (flirtee is a woman).

  • Flirtee: “I used to go swimming everyday when I lived in Australia with my friends. We had so much fun.” (1. Sexy link)
  • You: (Looking away slightly with thoughtful smile) (2. Act distracted)
  • Flirtee: “What did I say!?” (3. Wait for her to notice)
  • You: “I’m sorry”. (Leaning in and touching arm). “I can’t help but imagine you and a bunch of attractive girls frolicking in the sand wearing very little.” (4. Name the thought)
  • Flirtee: (laughs) “You would!” (5. Allow reaction)
  • You: “I’ll wipe my mind clean now. Please carry on.” (6. Redirect)

Another example (flirtee is a man):

  • Flirtee: “I went to a black tie event the other night for my friend’s 30th birthday.” (1. Sexy link)
  • You: (Raise eyebrows and sly smile) (2. Act distracted)
  • Flirtee: “What?” (3. Wait for him to notice)
  • You: “Sorry. I’m just imagining you rocking up in your tuxedo looking all dashing…” (4. Name the thought)
  • Flirtee: (smiles) “I did look pretty good” (5. Allow reaction)
  • You: “What was the event like?” (6. Redirect)

Where people go wrong

This flirty technique is at the risky end of the scale, so only try it once solid rapport has been built. Otherwise you’ll be a creep.

Body language, facial expressions and voice tonality is EVERYTHING. If you haven’t mastered that this technique will make them run for the hills and block you faster than sending an unsolicited nude. Everything must be said in a playful, teasing manner. She must understand you are not being serious.

Don’t use this technique in the middle of a negative story (you should never interrupt a story regardless of whether it is good or bad anyway), or when the person is talking about something that has deep meaning. Use it during a light-hearted conversation when the person is in a positive frame of mind.

Next steps

Begin to identify Sexy Links in conversations you are having with people. After a while you’ll find they naturally spring to mind, and you’ll have a chance to try about the Sexy Thought Bubble technique on someone you are interested in flirting with.

Flirty Conversation Series

Take me back to the Flirty Conversation Series page so I can learn more fantastic flirting techniques to use in every day conversation.

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