What is No You Are!?
The No You Are! technique is a way of being more playful in conversations. When your flirting partner makes a statement about you, immediately return it to them by saying “No you are!”.
Why does it work?
Saying “No you are!” is a simple phrase, yet so many emotions are wrapped up in it.
“No you are!” is the type of expression a young child would make at school to his friends when they mock insult him or her. To them it’s the height of hilarity.
We all remember doing it at school.
As adults our lives are often stressful. We have to get on with grown up things like going to work, paying the bills, doing the washing up. Sucks doesn’t it. We all secretly want to revert to our childhood when we were carefree.
The No You Are! technique does just that. For an instance it reminds us of being a child once more, and that as adults we ARE still allowed to play if we give ourselves permission.
How to use No You Are!
No detailed explanation of this one is needed. You wait for someone to say something about you, and then respond with “No YOU are!”.
Make sure you emphasise the “you”.
Exaggerated eye widening, and a slight side to side head tilt (think of the head motion you would do when saying “Na na na na nah nah” with your thumb on your nose and wiggling your fingers) add to the impact.
This technique can often be used to follow up the other conversational flirting techniques in this series.
Here’s an example of the No You Are! flirting technique in action, where a man is flirting with a woman.
- Woman: “You’re so cheeky!”
- Man: “No YOU are!”
- Woman: (laughs)
And one more example where the No You Are! technique immediately follows the The Competition technique to add to its impact.
- Woman: “I love pool!”
- Man: “No way! Are you any good?”
- Woman: “I’m alright, nothing special.”
- Man: “I bet you’re being modest aren’t you. If we went over to challenge them to a game right now you’d start by being all coy and when they let their guard down you’d suddenly pot everything. I can tell you’re a hustler. I’ll go set up the match and you get your game face on.” <- The Competition technique
- Woman: “You’re so silly!”
- Man: “No YOU are!” <- No You Are! technique
- Woman: (laughs)
Where people go wrong
Remember to act like a eight year old child would when you delivering the line, then return to your standard pose and smile normally. Once you’ve delivered the line, pause. Let it sink in and allow your conversation partner to react.
I fully admit this is far from the height of sophistication. It seems childish because it is. But there’s merit in it. I encourage you to give it a go before ruling it out.