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Flirty Conversation Series: Coupled Up Projection

Flirty Conversation Series

This article is part of the Flirty Conversation Series, designed to teach you techniques for flirting successfully with anyone you talk to. This series is written to help men and women. He/She pronouns are interchangeable, and often one is chosen purely for simplicity of writing.

What is the Coupled Up Projection

Coming up with a wild scenario featuring the two of you in an outlandish situation in the future, where you are together and conquering the world.

Why does it work?

You are spinning a positive, fun story which although fantastical, gets the other person thinking about what it would be like to spend time with you and have you in their life. It also creates a break from the monotony of normal conversation.

This technique is similar to The Competition, except in this one you are not competing against your flirtee, but instead giving an example of what your life would be like together.

The Couple Up Projection flirting technique is an excellent seque into the other flirting techniques in this series, and also allows for plenty of scope to introduce innuendo and ramp up the sexual tension.

How to use the Coupled Up Projection

Simply follow the steps outlined below.

  1. Look for a hook. A hook is a topic within the conversation which will allow you to initiate the projection. Look for nouns or verbs. You may also introduce a hook yourself.
  2. Initiate the projection. Set a clear role for her and yourself in the made up relationship. You should always play the role of the less experienced partner, in order to make the projection less threatening and more entertaining for the flirtee. Examples include:

    • An old married couple
    • A sports person and coach
    • A musician and groupee
    • Two employees working at the same firm
  3. Improvise. Feed off her responses. Use the principle of never saying “No”. In other words, always take what she says and go with it. This can take some time to master, but understand there is no wrong answer. Say whatever random thing pops into your head. Keep this going until the conversation starts to stall, or the other person’s body language indicates they are getting tired of it. It’s better to keep projections short. Think thirty seconds to a minute, rather than ten minutes.


Here’s an example of a man using the Couple Up Projection flirting technique on a woman who has a photo of her playing table tennis on her online dating profile.

  • Man: “I notice you play table tennis. And good?”

Introduce a hook. You introduce the topic of table tennis.

  • Woman: “I do! I’ve played it a couple of times when drunk.”
  • Man: “I bet you’re just being modest. I’m glad I met you actually, because I’m currently looking for a table tennis coach to take my skills to the next level, and I think you might be it.”

Initiate the projection. She knows you are flirting because she has told you she isn’t very good at table tennis, and therefore will pick up that you aren’t really looking for a coach. At this point she will follow your lead and carry on the projection if she wants to flirt with you.

  • Woman: “I’m sure I can teach you a few things. I’ve got good ball handling skills.” (smiles)

She has decided to run with it, and her introduction of an innuendo means she is flirting hard back with you, a good sign.

  • Man: “Now obviously I can’t just accept anyone as a coach, as I’m aiming for an olympic gold. I only want the best. So I’m interviewing a few people. Tell me should I get a blue or red bat? I’ve heard it makes all the difference.”

You make it even more obvious this is a projection, by telling her you are going for a gold medal, and pretending you think the colour of the table tennis bat is the secret to success.

  • Woman: “Good question. I prefer pink myself. And obviously you’ll have to wear tight pink shorts too. It’s a rule I have as a coach.”

She’s continuing the projection and still making vaguely suggestive comments. At this point you could throw in a Perv Callout before continuing with the projection.

  • Man: “You are such a perv. I’m trying to find a decent coach and all you are thinking about is ogling my tight ass in shorts. But if you’re the best, I guess it is just something I’ll have to deal with” (sly smile)

  • Woman: “I’m sure you’ll cope.”

And so it continues.

Where people go wrong

People sometimes make the story too negative, or too close to home, meaning it is too realistic and therefore comes across as a little creepy.

An example would be saying to a woman: “I can imagine our wedding day. I’d be waiting for you in the church and then I’d see you walking up the aisle all in white, looking radiant”. This is too real. The scenarios you tell must be fantastical and outrageous enough that the flirtee knows you are joking. It will still have the desired effect.

Sometimes your attempt to initiate a Couple Up Projection flirt will be missed or brushed off as your flirtee carries on with her normal conversation. If she doesn’t join in, then don’t keep ploughing on or you’ll come across as try hard. Let it go. Look to use another flirting technique or wait a few minutes before trying again with a different topic.

Don’t be stifled. Practise exercises to become unfiltered to maximise the craziness and spontaneity of the projections. Remember, nothing you say is wrong, it’s just a game. Get out of your head.

Next steps

Read the article on becoming unfiltered above, and then choose one topic which comes up often in conversation you can project off. Keeping fit is a common topic, and many people run. Come up with a relationship (marathon buddies, personal training and client, etc.) and projection (training for a marathon, both being incredibly unfit, being coached) you could initiate based on this information, so you have it handy next time you want to flirt.

Flirty Conversation Series

Take me back to the Flirty Conversation Series page so I can learn more fantastic flirting techniques to use in every day conversation.

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