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feedback loop

Supercharge Your Self-Improvement By Feeding Forward


It’s a useful part of learning.

But it may slowing your rate of improvement.

When attempting to walk for the first time we always fall onto our backsides. And yet each time we learn something new about the skills required. We learn what worked and what didn’t.

Whatever your goal is, it is important to engage in meaningful practise. In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell talks about the principles of deliberate practise.

It’s no good doing something over and over if you are doing the wrong thing, or not reflecting on your practise sessions from time to time. (more…)

anxious, uncertain man

How to Deal with Uncertainty When Dating

Life is far from certain.

  • The economy could crash.
  • You could make a mistake at work and be fired.
  • You could play and win the lottery this week.
  • You might be knocked down by a bus on your way home.
  • You could ace that presentation you’re giving to your boss.
  • You could meet the love of your life at the bus stop tomorrow.

We all know nothing is certain in this world, and yet we LOVE to think about it.

And because our brains know a negative experience is more dangerous to our survival than a positive one, we have a habit of focusing on what could go wrong rather than what could go right. (more…)

Why Dating Techniques Aren’t Working for You

Many people learn dating techniques in order to become more attractive to the opposite sex. But those techniques won’t be effective unless you’ve done work on yourself to become happy and confident, and have an outstanding opinion of yourself.

The techniques DO work, and there is scientific evidence behind them. But they will FAIL miserably if you are needy, insecure, unconfident, have nothing going on in your life, and feel undeserving of a boyfriend or girlfriend. (more…)

Are Expectations Ruining Your Dating Life?

Below is a transcript of the video.

Today, I want to talk about expectations and why they might be making you unhappy.

Hi, Ed here from, teaching you how to make friends easily and become more attractive by being memorable.

I think a lot of us have expectations about how people should act when we meet them and when we’re dating them. These expectations come from the way we were raised and what we believe is polite and what we believe is social etiquette.

Maybe you’re on a second date and you expected the guy to call back after it. Maybe you’re a guy and you bought a girl a drink in the bar and, therefore, you expected her to give you her number. (more…)

How to Reframe for Success at Social Events

I got home from the gym today and stepped into the shower and realised my boiler had broken and the water was absolutely freezing. At that point I had two choices.

I could either take that as a negative experience and let that experience ruin my whole day or I could say to myself, “You know what? This is a challenge. I’m going to get into this water no matter how cold it is and see if I can have a shower in the cold.”

What does this have to do with becoming the most interesting person in the room or the most memorable person in the room? (more…)

woman thinking

How to Achieve Anything with Less Effort

At school I took A-Level maths.

I was far from the best at the subject, and rather than having a natural talent, I had to put in the hours to achieve good grades.

Often I would remain up late, wrestling with a particularly fiendish homework question set by my teacher, one where the answer just wasn’t obvious to me.

No matter how hard I stared at the puzzle, and how many times I attempted to solve it, I could not.

After giving up and heading to bed, I awoke the next day to attempt the problem once again.

Something had changed. (more…)

Yin yang

I Care, But I Don’t Care

I care about the women I date.

I want us to enjoy our time together laughing, playing, discussing.

I want to learn something about and from them, just as I hope they learn something about and from me.

I want to enrich their lives by being in it, not suck the life out of it.

I want to know and love someone deeply.

At the same time, I don’t care. (more…)

Angry couple in bed

How To Deal With Unresolved Anger Towards Women

Have you ever felt annoyed, frustrated or resentful of women?

Answer honestly.

I’ve spoken to many women who regularly receive angry texts or online messages whilst dating. A common one is for the guy to send an abusive or rude message if he doesn’t receive a response:

  • Him: Hi there.
  • Her: (no reply)
  • Him (2 days later): What’s the point in matching with me if you’re not going to talk? You’re not even that attractive.

The outburst above is just one expression of anger. But there are other ways it can manifest itself, for anger does not always involve foot-stomping and shouting. (more…)

man on date

5 Exercises to Unfilter Yourself for Dating Success

In my ‘Stop Playing it Safe With Women’ article I advocate self-acceptance and allowing your natural personality to shine through on dates, without fear of loss.

But it’s easier said than done.

Too often people don’t ever show up to dates.

Sure, they are there physically. But their mind isn’t.

They’re distracted by the dark cloud of that work presentation they have to deliver the following day. Or worrying about how they come across. Or scared the conversation will run dry and result in awkwardness. (more…)