Have you ever walked into the bedroom of a five star hotel and instantly been drawn to the bed?
The kind of bed you want to rub your hands across and feel how silky and soft the sheets are. The kind of bed you want to jump in to in a heartbeat. The kind of bed you would fall asleep in five minutes flat if you were left alone. The kind of bed that conjures up images of high end luxury living and a lifestyle of wealth and success.
The more accurately you can recreate this feeling for the women you are dating, the more likely they are to want to return time and again, resulting in more and better sex for you.
A good looking bedroom, and in particular a sumptuous and comfortable bed with high quality bedding is a guilty pleasure, and something younger women (in the under 25 age group) may not have had the luxury of experiencing.
Why a good bed matters
A good bed helps when dating women. It will set you apart from the other guys your girl is seeing, provide better quality sex and sleep, demonstrate you are a sexual man, take care of your possessions, all of which will make her want to stick around longer.
A good bed:
- Increases your chances of converting a second date into sex. I advocate sleeping with the women you are dating as quickly as possibly, ideally having sex on the second date (although sometimes a first date works too). A second date typically takes place at my house, where we watch a movie. My sofa isn’t comfortable, so I suggest watching the film in the bedroom. When the women sees the bed and the way I lay out the cushions and pillows, it is inviting. They can’t wait to get on and try it out. Once she’s lying on the bed, become physical as we watch the film is easy and feels natural. Compare that with an uncomfortable, small bed with one pillow and stained sheets. The women will be put off and won’t go near it, ruining your chances.
- Promotes a higher return rate. Who doesn’t love a comfortable bed? If you date younger women who are just getting started in their first or second job, they won’t be experienced to this level of comfort. And once exposed they’ll start to prefer sleeping with you in your bed than in their own bed. The more times they stay over, the more sex you have, and the more invested they’ll become in you.
- Makes you sexy. A man who has class, sophistication and takes care of himself is attractive. The way your bedroom looks is a reflection of your personality. Make it look great and the women in your life will use it as a metaphor for how you treat the rest of your life, and how they might expect you to treat them. It’ll set you apart as a man with good taste. Having the best bed out of all the men they are dating is a plus point.
- Provides better sex. A firm mattress will stop your bodies sinking down when she’s on top or during doggy. It will give you a more stable platform for you both to thrust from, increasing your pleasure. It’s the opposite of trying to have sex on a waterbed or lilo in a swimming pool.
- Makes threesomes possible. Got your sights set on a threesome? The bigger the bed, the easier it will be to fit everyone in. A threesome on a standard double will be cramped, and isn’t possible in a single.
- Offers better quality sleep. If you’re alone you’ll sleep better. If you’re with a girl she can be on other side of bed and won’t be breathing in your face all night preventing you from getting good quality sleep.
Looking at all those benefits, why doesn’t everyone have a great bed?
Two reasons: cost and space.
- It takes up space. A super king bed is BIG. Living in London where bedroom sizes are small, the bed takes up most of the floor space leaving little room for anything else. If you don’t have the floor space, there is little you can do. If you do have room for the bed, but not much else, make the most of mirrors to give the illusion your room is bigger than it really is (e.g. mirrored wardrobes). You’ll also have to keep your bedroom neat and tidy, putting things away so the floor space you do have is clear of clutter.
- It’s costly. A mattress alone can set you back £200-£1000, and a bed base the same. The bedding will set you back several hundred pounds. But, you don’t have to spend this amount, or buy everything in one go. Ask for this stuff as gifts, buy it over several years, or buy essential items only. Also remember, good quality lasts years. A mattress will last 5-10 years, and a bed base longer, so it’s a one off expense.
How to create the hotel bed experience
You’ve decided your bed and bedding need an upgrade. What should you buy?
- Bed base. My first bed frame was from Ikea. It was relatively cheap (around £100), wooden, and low to the floor. It served me well for 4 years, but had drawbacks. First, the height made some sex positions (such as man standing on floor, women lying on back on edge of bed, ankles around guy’s ears) impossible. Secondly, the self-assembly nature meant it needed regular tightening after nocturnal activities. Thirdly, I’d regularly catch my toes or scrape my ankles on the sharp edges. My current bed base is a Divan. It is high (just below waist) made up of two solid parts only, and there are no protruding edges to injure myself. Plus, it’s on wheels so can be moved around for vacuuming and lifts up for extra storage underneath. I recommend going for the largest size you can afford. Keep in mind a bigger bed means larger bedding and a bigger mattress costs. Super King sheets cost more than a standard double. And you will also need to buy bigger pillows and a duvet. My bed base cost around £400.
- Headboard. Adds a touch of detail to the room and stops things falling down between the bed base and the wall. Headboards can attach to the bed base or be fitted to the wall. If they are attached to the bed, make sure they aren’t going to be bumping into the wall when you’re having sex.
- Mattress. The MOST important part of the bed is the mattress. When choosing a mattress, I avoid memory foam (because it makes sex difficult) and go for something firm (the mattress topper, discussed later, will make it softer). My current mattress is the Insignia Richmond Pocket Sprung Mattress – Orthopaedic. Even though it is labelled as Orthopaedic, I haven’t had any complaints about it being too hard. It cost £900 when bought as part of a set. Opt for pocket springs if you have a choice. This disperses weight better and prevents the situation of having the mattress sag in the middle over time. I highly recommend going in-store to try out mattresses before buying, and check the returns policy. Dreams allow you to change the mattress twice within 30 days if you aren’t happy. My first mattress was too firm, despite having tried it in-store, and I had to take them up on their offer. Also, flip your mattress over every 2-4 weeks to allow the springs to recover.
- Pillows. I have four, two cheap and two expensive (around £35 each). The cheap ones are soft, standard sized, and only there for show or being propped up watching TV. They get chucked on the floor before sleep (unless the woman I’m dating wants to sleep with two). The expensive ones are super king sized, firmer, and filled with higher quality goose feather & down. They provide support whilst sleeping. If your budget is limited, get two regular sized but good quality pillows.
- Duvet. Living in London, the duvet has to cover the cold winter and warm summer nights. Duvet warmth is measured in Togs. Mine has a Tog rating of 10.5. If you live in warmer climates go for a lower Tog rating. You don’t have to spend much to get a good quality duvet. My duck feather and down double duvet was £45 from John Lewis, although is a bit small for my super king.
The base, mattress, pillows and duvet provide the solid foundation on which to build your ultimate bed. But what you feel on your skin is also important. The bad news is that bedding is expensive, and you’ll need one spare set, possibly two.
- Sheets. Go for 100% Egyptian cotton (it is less scratchy than nylon, feels fresher, and lasts longer despite multiple washes), and a minimum thread count of 200, ideally 400. Although you can get 1000 thread count the average person won’t notice above 400. I used to use a standard sheet but switched to a fitted one to go over the mattress because it is quicker to change (during your pre date ritual if necessary) and doesn’t come untucked during rampant sex. If you have a deep mattress and/or a mattress topper make sure you buy deep fitted sheets or they won’t fit. If in doubt, buy white. When have you ever stayed in a luxury hotel that didn’t have white sheets? Expect to pay up £50-90 for a sheet to fit a large bed.
- Pillow cases. As with the sheets, buy 100% Egyptian cotton, 400 thread count, and stick to white for the main pillows unless you’re an interior designer. The cheaper pillows can have coloured, cheaper cotton cases. Expect to pay around £15 per pillow case.
- Duvet cover. As above, opt for Egyptian cotton. The duvet cover is the most costly piece of bedding because it contains the most fabric. Expect to pay £100-200 for one. If you wish to add some colour to your bedroom, the duvet cover is a good way to do so. Opt for manly, darker colours, but make sure they don’t clash with the rest of the room. I have a couple of dark ones and two white ones. At a minimum you need two.
If all this sounds too expensive, another strategy would be to buy one cheap set and one expensive set. On the days you bring a girl back to your house on a date, put on the expensive stuff. When you’re on your own, use the cheap bedding. I suspect once you feel the difference you’ll be buying another set of the expensive bedding pronto!
Got the basic bedding but want to kick it up a notch? Perfect. There are a couple more items you need.
- Mattress topper. A mattress topper goes on top of the mattress (obviously) and under a fitted sheet. They come in various thicknesses and provide an extra level of comfort. I have a thick 2-4 inch mattress topper which feels like a mini duvet. It really is like sleeping on a cloud! These suckers are expensive. Expect to pay £100-£200.
- Top sheet. A top sheet goes below the duvet but above the fitted sheet. I don’t use one, but it can finish a look, because you fold the top sheet back over the top of the duvet when making the bed. This technique is effective when your top sheet and duvet are different colours, because it provides contrast at the head of the bed.
- Pillow case protectors. To save your pillows getting damaged, and to prevent being rudely awoken by a goose feather sticking in to your eye from within the pillow, put a plain white protector over them. They are basically pillow cases with zips, on top of which the pillow case goes.
- Scatter cushions. “I hate scatter cushions” said no woman, ever. Give your bed a bit of extra style by buying some. Be playful by getting a cushion with something funny written on it. One of mine says “Quiet Please”, much to the amusement of women I’m dating. They’ll quip “I’m not sure I can stick to your rules” or “Was that a present from your neighbours”. They’re cheap, £5-£15 per cushion.
- Throw. A throw covers the foot of the bed for no other purpose than style (and perhaps warmth). You can either buy one to cover the bottom third of the bed and is long enough to drape onto the floor, or a shorter one that you lay over a small strip of the duvet.
To avoid ruining your hotel bed experience, don’t do any of the following.
- Buy cheap or nylon bedding. It’s itchy, scratchy, and makes me feel like microscopic insects are crawling across my skin. Plus it doesn’t last. Egyptian cotton will last you years, so the investment is worth it.
- Buy the wrong colour. I stick with brilliant white. Granted, white isn’t the most masculine colour, but I offset it by painting my bedroom walls a deep, navy blue and having two dark coloured duvets to switch things up once in a while.
- Buy girly or naff patterns. Just don’t do it. Avoid floral designs or logos or your favourite comic book character. You’re a True Alpha not a 12 year old boy.
- Buy everything at once. Slowly upgrade your bed and bedding over time. If you already have a bed you like, start with a new fitted sheet. Then buy a different pillow, and duvet cover. After a few more months get your mum to buy you a mattress topper for Christmas.
Once you have all the hardware and bedding, it’s time to make the bed. Arrange all four pillows vertically at the head of the bed (you can also stack them, like in some of the photos below). Place the duvet on the bed, pulling it down slightly so it begins under the pillows or just below them. If using a top sheet fold it over the duvet. Finally arrange the scatter cushions and place the throw at the foot of the bed. Then sit back and wait for all the positive comments you’ll get from women.
Here are some examples to get your mind going.