I don’t read Glamour, a women’s fashion magazine.
But I was sent a link to an article written by them entitled ‘21 questions you should ask a sex partner‘. I was sceptical, as many of these sex articles in magazines are a regurgitation of mainstream advice.
Opening the link, I was pleasantly surprised.
Let me backtrack.
I love sex. And I enjoy having it early on in the dating process, because sexual compatibility is important to me.
I often discuss some aspect of sex on the first date (see my first date blueprint for details) because I am endlessly curious about people’s experience of it. I enjoy pushing the boundaries of a person’s sexuality in order to take them to places they have never been, and never knew they wanted to go.
Great sex is about communication. After first sex I’m keen to understand what they enjoyed and what they want to do more of. It’s a skill which takes practise. You don’t want to come across as judgemental, an interviewer, or a mood kill. Done right it should turn us both on and lead to better sex next time.
So back to the questions in Glamour.
They are a start to understanding how best you can improve the sex between you two (and you should be the one leading this project, because you should want to give her the most intense feelings she’s ever experienced with anyone).
I’m not saying the questions are the correct ones for your situation, but the overall concept of asking your date this kind of stuff is incredibly important.
Here they are:
Don’t wait until you have been going out for 2 years before bringing this stuff up. Become comfortable enough with your sexual energy that you are able to talk about sex from date one.
I’ve never met anyone who hated sex (although there are plenty of people having bad sex), so why are we all so tight-lipped and embarrassed about it.
Let’s discuss it with our dates and partners so we can all become better lovers, and experience something truly magical together.
If you don’t want to discuss it, I feel sorry for you. Because when she bumps into a guy who meets her behind the curtain and unleashes her sexuality, she won’t be returning to you.