There’s a common misunderstanding from people who are learning to become dominant in the bedroom (I’m going to assume you’re a guy, as this website is geared towards them).
It’s that you are in complete control.
If you are learning to be more dominant simply to control women without any regard for their mental and physical health, you need to reevaluate.
The dom/sub relationship is an extreme form of roleplay. You are both acting your parts, and BOTH in control.
You are playing the role of being in control, and she is WILLINGLY submitting to you. She is CHOOSING to play that role. And if she is choosing how to act, she ultimately has as much control as you do.
Yes, you command her. Yes you tie her up. Yes you spank her if she doesn’t do what you ask of her. BUT, you are both in control.
It’s a paradox granted. (more…)